Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
How do you do with acceptance? With being with what is? How well do you meet yourself where you are?
It should be spring now, 2nd March. We should be enjoying pale blue skies and weak sunshine, as the first flowers break through the ground. But here in the UK we have been caught in a snow storm that has come in from Siberia. And of course even though we knew it was coming, we weren’t really prepared for it, because it is so far removed from our normal. There is chaos on the roads, schools are shut and parents are full of angst about missing work.
But what if you can take a step back from that. Just allow what is, just be with what is. See the treasure in the unexpected, the chance for a snow day with children, a chance to rest and dream whilst watching the snow swirl outside your window. How do you let go of the tension in the moment so that it can bring a sense of joy or pleasure rather than pain?
The spring flowers understand this. They know nothing of the struggles of the mind that we humans have. When they feel inside themselves it is time, they rise from their seeds or bulbs and break through the earth. They grow and stretch until they reach their bloom, their purpose, their reason for being. Then, when their blooming time is done, they let go, without struggle and return to the earth they came from.
How much of our fear about the end of life, is the accumulation of all the small griefs, the moments we lost or didn’t live? How much of our struggle is because we don’t meet ourselves where we are? Are we arriving at the end of life full of tension and grief from all the moments where we forgot to bloom?
*This blog post is formed from themes discussed during the weekly Zoom call we have with students on the Red Tent End of Life Doula Preparation*